The Amputee

No physio for me today

theamputee — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 22:52:25 +0000

Considering the fall the Tramadol did a reasonable job last night and I got an average sleep. This morning I was certainly feeling the effects of the decking. To my surprise there didn’t appear to be any bruising so most of it must have been pulled muscle, with most of the pain being in my already troublesome lower back. I phoned the physio this morning to let her know I wouldn’t be there this afternoon and I asked her if she would let Lynne (my prosthetist) know that I couldn’t wear my leg again. I explained about the bruising following the last physio session and told her I had taken some photos to show Lynne where the bruising was. She asked me if I could email her the pictures, which I have done, I said that it must have been a result of the leg being lengthened and shifting my position within the socket. I also explained that I had been visited by the occupational therapy assistant reference the grant and they would be contacting her. I told the physio what I had said to the OT Assistant and the physio also pointed OT that they have to take my knee into consideration which will restrict me more than anything else. It was reassuring for me to hear her say that as the OT Assistant just made me feel like I was being obstructive, which wasn’t the case I was just being realistic. I felt really low yesterday, which I suppose was understandable and even though I was still hurting mood wise I felt so much better today. What delights will tomorrow have in store for us?

That Yin Yang thing again

theamputee — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:17:05 +0000

I was only saying the other day that for every positive there is a negative and it has struck again, in a big way. Last night we had a bit of crying and howling from Cody but he settled quite quickly considering it was his first night. This morning Mum and Dad went shopping while I stayed at home with Cody. Outside was wet from the rain last night so I put on a trainer to take Cody out to go to the toilet. I didn’t have my prosthesis on as I still can’t wear it and was using crutches (even though I have been band from using them) as I can’t get the wheelchair out to the back garden. I am not really sure what happened but as I was coming back in I think I started to loose my balance. I tried to put my crutches in a position to keep myself up right but as I went up the step of the decking I think one of the crutches slid. I could tell I was going down so tried to get my hands out of the crutches to avoid any broken wrists. As usual I went face down but I think I must have tried to turn myself as I ended up grazing the inside of my calf, I presume on the edge of the step. I hit the deck (excuse the pun) and just lay there for a bit, thankfully Cody had moved out of the way as I could have landed on him. My back hurt straight away but I think that was more of a strain from the fall. Cody had no idea what was going on and just stood over me while I was thinking about moving and then how I was going to get up. I sat up and then used the steps and crutches to get to my feet, sorry foot, then dragged myself inside. This afternoon I had to lay down as my back, hip and neck all hurt, I started getting pain in my stump too. When I got up I had to have some Tramadol and have had to take some again tonight. Today’s fall is the second worst (the first being the one in Hospital when I fell straight on my stump) I have had and I have to say it really shook me up. I think the fact it was outside and I was on my own made it feel worse that my other falls which have all been inside till today. I just hope I manage to get some sleep tonight, let’s hope the Tramadol does the trick. I would also like to think that the falls will start to become less frequent, is it normal for an amputee to fall as frequently as I do????

What an amazing day

theamputee — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 23:04:42 +0000

There was a bit of activity over the weekend, not much and I didn’t want to say anything in case it didn’t happen but two things happened today. The first was a hydrotherapy session which I was quite lucky to get. The physio was brilliant, really helpful and the exercises she gave me were really good. I started on my back on a canvas sheet which had a big foam block on either side to keep me buoyant. Some of the exercises she gave me were similar to ones I do in my physio sessions but were much better in the water and of course there was no pressure on the other knee. She has told me to do no more than 30 mins exercise but if I wanted to swim after that then that was up to me. I will have to borrow a float and one of those long foam tubes to use when I go again, Mum or Dad would have to come in as well to help me with some of the exercises. She did a couple of lengths swimming with me and was happy with what I did today. When swimming I did breast stroke but it is quite difficult now. As I have lost a lot of weight from the leg my bum and legs are more buoyant now. This means my back arches quite a bit while swimming so I will have to use my muscles to try and keep them down.

The second job for today was to pick up my new dog. His name is Cody and he is an 11 month old black Labrador. We went and saw him on Saturday and he is gorgeous, very placid and a very soft and sensitive dog. I had wanted a puppy from one of the breeders (they do gun dog trials) bitches but she has been unsuccessful with her for 2 years now. Cody was the back up plan and he is lovely, I am just a little frustrated that I am not going to be able to walk him at the moment. I played with him a few times in the garden and Dad took him for a bit of a walk, which I think both of them enjoyed. He travelled in the car OK and just settled in his travel cage. He seems to have settled in OK but it is tonight I am worried about. I am hoping to train him as a bit of an assistance dog in the future but I will have to see how things go. I am just really happy to have him.

Soooooo painful

theamputee — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 22:32:06 +0000

I woke this morning with positivity and was going to get my leg on and go for a short walk, with Dad in tow again. The bruising looked a bit better first thing so already another positive was to be had, all in a short space of time. Unfortunately things started to landslide from here on in and rather rapidly too. The moment had arrived to climb into my leg so on went the thick sock and I was off, but not running. The leg went on but I felt that it was too twisted and the plastic was……. let’s just say not in a comfortable position round the back. I took it off and put it back on again but felt too loose and swinging about at the top of the socket. I thought that if I put a thin sock on I may get further into the socket, so out I came again and swapped socks. After climbing back in the difference felt minimal and thought it was better to have the thick sock on and not have the socket slide up and down on the stump. Socks switched back and I was back in again, I had a bit of skin in the back of the leg that hadn’t gone in properly so tried to push it down. After struggling for a bit it felt like there was a little pinch but just gave up and thought the movement of walking would sort to out. I walked out to the Kitchen and it was incredibly painful. I concentrated on tightening the muscles to stop me moving or rolling in the socket which I hoped would alleviate the pain but it didn’t. I did what I went out there to do, then walked back into my lounge and it was the worse pain I have ever had from the socket. I promptly removed the leg and just sat there for a bit in disbelief at what had just happened and question how I can go from being so positive, to so low, so quickly. I have decided that I will leave it a couple of days and then try again to see if I can ascertain the problem. At the moment I am not sure if it is as a result of the leg being lengthened or from the type of exercises I was doing in physio this week. Until I know the answer to that we can’t really deal with it. It just seems that this socket will never be able to allow me to do everything you should be able to do on a prosthesis. I am tempted to say just get me to a point where I can walk on it relatively pain free and let me walk and exercise on it but forget the physio. When the stump goes down enough to have another socket done then I will start physio again when I am in a position to use a leg to its full potential without being in copious amounts of pain. I think it is actually more frustrating now because before the leg was raised and physio this week it felt pretty good, with just the slightest feeling at the front. It is now even more painful than it ever was before but that could be due to some bruising inside that I can’t see. Even though I only wore the leg briefly this morning but there was already redness showing from where it was digging in/rubbing, please let this get better!

For every positive there is a negative

theamputee — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 22:43:14 +0000

From yesterday being so positive I was a bit disappointed to wake up to a negative, It was a surprising one and not really expected. When at physio yesterday I did get a bit of pain in the groin but it tended to be when I was walking without my sticks but it wasn’t as bad as it had been. There seemed nothing untoward when I went to bed last night except, being the spanner I am, I forgot to take my Morphine and Amitriptyline last night. I must have been preoccupied when taking my medication, later thought there was a lot of phantom activity and put it down to the physio but realised that I had forgotten them. I couldn’t be bothered to get up as I was wrecked but would have done if I really needed too. The big shock of today came when I was in the bathroom and I noticed a massive bruise at the front of the pelvic bone, in the groin and the skin in the groin had been worn from yesterday. I was shocked because I thought we were more active last week, although we did do a lot of balance and forward weight work which could have caused it. I have a physio session next week and see Lynne the week after so I will have to see how it goes. I was a bit gutted as I was going to go out for a walk up the road again today but couldn’t even get my leg on today. When I woke up this morning I was sneezing and felt a bit bunged up but didn’t think I had a cold. The rest of the day I was constantly hot and cold, sneezing and I feel really diseased tonight and have had an upset stomach today too. May be I just have a little chill that will pass nice and quickly.

Today after 19 weeks from referral an occupational therapy assistant came out to assess the house for a grant for a wet room. She asked loads of questions, went through a tick sheet, looked at the access to the back of the house and kitchen needs. She went in the bathroom to check out the situation and also my bedroom and the shower in Mum and Dads en suite. After a fair amount of time she decided that she was out of her depth here and needed to get the senior occupational therapist (and housing access specialist) to come out and go through it all. She did think that there wasn’t anything that could be done with the bath and that a wet room maybe an option. This would be means tested so I am not sure how much would be covered by them and I have absolutely no idea how long it will be before they come out and see me again. I mentioned that I was told it could take up to 6 months to get a wet room done but she told me it could take a lot longer than that. Looks like I could be strip washing for a considerable time to come then, I am really not looking forward to the summer without a shower. Even though compared to yesterday it was a bit of a down day and there seemed to be an even bigger problem with my prosthesis (which I suppose could have been a result from lengthening the leg) tomorrow is another day and there could be an improvement again, let’s hope so.

Quite a positive day

theamputee — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:04:31 +0000

Nothing massive happened today but there were lots of little positives. I love my prosthetist she is just amazing and I don’t know what I would have done without her. Yet again Lynne came to the rescue, she managed to fit me in while I was over for physio to solve another problem. Following her wizardry with the socket the shortness of the prosthesis started to cause me an issue. I got to clinic 9, went more or less straight in and in no time, like the shopkeeper, as if by magic Lynne appeared (that last bit will only make sense if you are old enough to remember Mr Ben). I showed her the two different trainers I was wearing so she had an idea of the difference and then we swapped both the odd trainers for my new ones. Lynne placed the sandal on which allows her to place insoles under the sole of your shoe to see how far she needs to lengthen the leg. The first insole went in and I trotted (I use that term exceptional loosely) up and down between the bars but it felt a bit low and on feeling my hips Lynne agreed. Another one went in and off I trotted again, after feeling my hips it was just a tads lower but she told me that they do tend to have the prosthesis slightly shorter. Lynne did comment that I was bending the knee well and walking much better and that it was looking really good. To get there a have a comment like that felt really nice. I had mentioned what happened yesterday and she told me that if there is a camber or slope sideways when walking to make sure my right leg is on the highest side. She told me to go round to physio (I was in my wheelchair) and she would pop my leg round.

I started the physio session on the rowing machine this week which was a bit of a strain on my right leg, as I didn’t have my prosthesis on, but no more than on the bike. I managed to do my 10 mins without a break and maintained an average of 34 mph which I was quite happy with. I went for it on the last minute to try an get in an extra bit of distance in. When I had finished Lisa asked me how far I managed to go but when we looked on the screen the distance wasn’t on there. I pressed the distance button but it had not recorded it. I was a bit gutted to be honest but someone had messed about with the buttons, there is always next week if I get to go on it again. I preferred the rowing machine as it’s more of a workout because you are using your arms as well. Just as I finished Lynne came in with my leg which I put straight on. There was only two of us there which was OK and sometimes I think that is better. We used the Wii this week and I was doing the downhill skiing and moving a bubble along a river which was good for balance. I had to walk over sticks that had been placed on the floor with alternate feet going over the sticks, doing a three step turn and going back over them again. The three step turn was really difficult and something I am going to have to practice. There was a massive step which was probably about 12″ height that I had to step on with my real leg and then put it back on the floor again. This was to work on balancing on the prosthesis and use the stump, core and bum muscles to control it all, easier said than done. I also had to do a test today, there was a chair with arms put at one end of the gym and a cone was placed at a set measurement away from the chair. I sat in the chair and when the trainee physio said go I had to stand up, walk around the cone, go back to the chair and sit down. It was timed and I had one practice and then three goes, this was done without using sticks. We did the obligatory stretches after the warm up and finished with some tough sitting Thera-band exercises. I went home with my leg on and Lisa walked me out and she went over the stairs with me for the first time which was really good. I did notice that the prosthesis was longer which took a little getting used too but it felt much better. I got a lot out of today and wish I could have more days like this one.

Nearly!

theamputee — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 23:07:51 +0000

Apologies to my devoted reads for not doing a post yesterday but…….well, there just wasn’t any thing to write about. I was hoping to report on an epic adventure yesterday but it didn’t happen, I was a bit disappointed but new the day would arrive soon, I was right! This morning was manic, we had engineer in installing stuff and a new cooker arrived so it was andypandymonium and cold. Because of all the toing and froing the front door was open so there was no point having the heating on so on went a nice cosy warm jumper. When thinks had eventually calmed down I decided I would set off on my whirlwind adventure, a round trip of just under 300 yards up the road an back. It was quite literally one small step with the leg but a giant leap for recovery kind. It wasn’t quite as successful as it could have been but there were a couple or reasons for this. For a start I didn’t seem to have my prosthesis on very well today. I didn’t appear to be fully in the socket which meant I was swaying around at the top of it. It just didn’t feel really comfortable anywhere and I should probably have tried a thinner sock….but I didn’t. So looking incredibly silly with my two different trainers on, my sticks and with Dad in tow we headed off. I stepped over the threshold and did have a bit of nerves going on as it was quite literally the first time I have stepped foot out of the house with my prosthesis on. Our drive is a bit steep but I managed it OK but then the problems started. If you read ‘I really don’t want to do that again’ you will remember the shocking pavements we have here and it all starts next door. The slope of their drive from the pavement is dramatic, I really felt it in the groin again as the slope seemed to be pushing me over on that edge of the socket. I was almost at a crawl over next doors drive but as it levelled a bit I managed to get a reasonably good stride going. The pavement is on a permanent camber though which makes walking a bit difficult. There was the odd couple of drives that slowed me down a bit but I was being a bit cautious as well. So after about 135 yards it was about turn and we were homeward bound. So with a bit of concentration I had a good stride and was walking well, until, that is, I got to next doors drive. It was worse coming back than on the way out and it stopped me almost dead in my tracks. The problem is that the prosthetic leg is higher than my real leg which pushed the plastic in the groin again as the right side dropped. The left leg was so much higher that is was almost on tiptoe with my right leg to touch the floor. I stopped to try and explain this to my Dad and soon wished I hadn’t. As I was talking I tried to show how I was on tiptoe when the knee gave way and I started to drop. My lightning reaction was to try and my stop myself which I couldn’t do but thankfully Dads lightning reaction grabbed hold of my arm and he managed to hold me up, while I recovered the knee lock. It was a very dodgy moment and another reminder of just how easy it is to loose control of the leg. I could so easily have ended up an injured and embarrassed mess on the floor. I took our drive way very steadily and arrived back home in one piece. The groin area was very sore again so I ended up taking the leg off as soon as I got in. It may have been different had I been further in the socket but I will try it again on Thursday probably, watch this space!

Another month gone by

theamputee — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 00:22:16 +0000

The 10th February was not only my Nan’s Birthday but also marked my 3rd month as an amputee. The last couple of months I have done a reflection/summary of what I have been up to and I don’t see that this month should be any different, especially as not much happened today. So what has happened? Let me just scan last months posts……..right back, yes wow what a month and probably the most up and down I have had to date. I am going to break it down into the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good

Always nice to start on a positive I think and that’s how the month started. There was a plan in place to start reducing my medication which was very important to me. If fact that is still top of my list as until I can get of the Gabapentin and Amitriptyline I will forever struggle to shift the weight. For once I am working hard, in fact giving my recovery 110%, I have too no second chances here. As a mini fruit of my labours, say a blueberry because this is a mixed positive negative thing, I was moved into the advanced physio class. A positive because my hard work is paying off and I am walking well with the leg, the negative I have more work to do and even harder sessions. There was the chance to see some of my friends at Army Cadets when I had a meeting with our Commandant about the disabled facilities, well the lack of them, at our Headquarters. I am able to play Kinect Sports, well half the games on each season anyway, to help with exercise a Balance. To finish on a high note Lynne now seems to have sorted the problems with the socket an since I saw her last I can do much more on the prosthesis.

The Bad

Unfortunately the bad came in very quickly at the beginning of the month. I was unhappy at seeing Gail so low and struggling with her confidence in walking with her prosthesis. I wished there was something I could do to help her but the answer to all her problems lay within. There was many negative emotions and feeling this month, pain, sadness, anger and frustration. Nearly all this negativity came from just one thing, the socket of my prosthetic leg. It pretty much consumed the whole month, who would think a piece of plastic could have such a massive impact on your life but it did. I kept going with it and persevered until I could stand it no more, over a week was spent in the wheelchair alone. Snow, as lovely as it is has hampered my progress as I have been unable to get out and practice walking along the street. Of course the last thing that is making me exceptionally unhappy is my weight. I don’t think I have put much more on recently but I so desperately want to loose some.

The Ugly

My mood was bad, I was grumpy, low and snappy which wasn’t very pleasant for my parents. My groin was red, stinging and the skin was peeling, on the odd occasion it bleed from a small area where the skin had worn away.There we’re many times this month when I seriously felt like giving up with the leg. I would have been happy to to spend the rest of my life in the wheelchair, the leg was making my life miserable. After being so happy after the surgery, being positive, moving on and not having the pain I have had, I was so annoyed at being brought down. People who know me are not panicking about this text as they know that I wouldn’t give up that quickly but you would never believe how close I was.

So a new month has begun and with the socket sorted (apart from the leg length) I am on a high again, even though the weight situation has not improved. What will the next month have in store?

You don’t walk on the stump!

theamputee — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 01:00:17 +0000

We were up at a sparrows fart (05:45) this morning as we were off down to Wickford, Essex to visit my Nan. It was her Birthday yesterday and she was 95 years young. Mum and Dad clean the bungalow for her, this gives me time to talk to Nan which is nice as I don’t get to see her very often. My Uncle and his fiancé came round lunch time and we all had a Chinese Take Away. I think Nan really enjoyed it as it made a nice change for her. It was -14 degrees when we left and I had never seen such a hard frost before which was on top of the snow that hasn’t melted. I got a couple of photos of the sunrise and sunset on my phone despite the dirty windows. I managed to get some time talking to my Uncle which is rare so that was really nice too. One of the things we talked about was the same thing I spoke to another relation about on the phone the other day, it’s a misconception that everyone has including me!

There is some information readily available to a potential amputee by researching on the Internet, being told, finding out for yourself and lastly by assuming. It’s the last of these that I want to write about. Most people have seen an amputee, be it on TV or in a real life situation, and most leg amputees will be wearing a prosthetic leg. The assumption and misconception comes with the stump location within the socket. I, along with most people, assumed that when you walk with a prosthetic leg you walk on the end of the stump. Your stump sits on the bottom of the socket and you put your weight through it. This is NOT what happens, I had been told what does happen at a meeting which took place a month or so before the surgery. Basically the stump fits in the socket, obviously, but the stump is suspended, the end of the stump touches nothing and no weight goes through it. You have a bone in the back of your bum and the socket is shaped so that you sit on the edge/ledge at the rear of the socket. All of your weigh goes onto this bone, so you end up sitting on this bit of plastic all day. Due to the femur having been cut down it is now unable to take your weight hence using the bum bone. I hope that is useful for some people and if you have any questions please feel free to ask.

A white blanket of snow

theamputee — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:35:48 +0000

This morning we woke up to a good couple of inches of snow again. Unlike the last time we had snowfall there was no wind, this meant instead of drifting the snow settled like a lovely blanket over everything. The sun was out which made the snow glisten and it looked stunning, just how I would love a Christmas morning to look. I whipped the leg on again first thing this morning and looked for some photo opportunities out of the windows. I took a couple from the side window and the rest from the conservatory (I have added a couple of today’s pictures to this post). Today would have been an even better day to go out and get some amazing shots but it is not meant to be for me yet, unfortunately. I will have to bide my time and get lots of walking practice in so that I can get out in the Fens and start shooting again. I think of all the things I miss, I miss photography the most. When I can walk more confidently and get a car I will have to get out and make up for lost time.

The walking around was pretty good again today. I did have a bit of difficulty getting over the high door frame and drop into the conservatory, then getting back in the lounge again. Steps and stairs are something I will try and ask if I can do at physio one day, although I am not sure if they would want me to wait a while. When I am walking with my sticks I don’t put hardly and weight through them, it is becoming smoother and looking a little more natural. As soon as I walk without them then I tilt from side to side. If I keep working on the exercises and work on my core muscles then it will become easier and look better when I walk. I only managed to get too just after lunch before I had to take the leg off again. When cleaning my teeth and washing I tend to do hip exercises at the sink. I stand on one leg and lean on the sink a little then swing the stump backwards and forwards in a controlled movement, concentrating on the hip doing the work while keeping everything else still. Tonight when I did it I found the front of the stump felt really tight, I am not sure if it is tight or I am managing to move the stump further backwards. I really have to work on stretching the front of the stump to get the best range of movement possible, note to self must work harder on that!