An uncertain future

On Saturday, after getting back from visiting Nan, I received a copy of the letter to my GP from my Rehab Consultant. On a rough day the letter didn’t do anything to brighten my spirits, but it did say a lot more than he actually said to me in Clinic. The first paragraph talks generally about my health, medication, wearing the Juzo Stump Shrinker etc. The last couple of lines reads:-

Her stump looks healthy and is not swollen now. It is still tender to touch. I do not think anything will be gained by waiting any longer before casting for a new socket’

I completely agree with that although I still had no appointment booked for the casting. It was the last paragraph that seemed a bit of a blow, but still didn’t really help with a clear outcome. He stated:-

‘Her goals are to be independently mobile again, get back to driving, get a job and get a life. Given her ongoing pain in her stump and her difficulty in using the prosthesis before, I think it is likely that she will still need to use her wheelchair the majority of the time for mobility, and that coming off her analgesics, so that her thinking is clearer, and hence getting back to be able to drive again is likely to be the greatest improvement in her mobility which we are likely to be able to achieve.’

So, from this we can establish that we are going for a casting to get a new socket, and will be going through the process to get me walking again. I’m assuming though that I may not be able to use the leg for prolonged lengths of time and will be limited to how much I can use the leg. At the moment none of this really helps me at all, I know they can’t give me a definitive answer but I was hoping it would be clearer than this. I’m sure my Physio and Prosthetist will be able to give me a better picture of what is planned and what I can expect. Part of me thinks that if I’m going to be so limited with the use of the leg then why bother going through it all. The other part of me desperately wants to be up walking and mobile even if that’s for just part of the day. That said, if it comes with the risk of creating another bursa and surgery to remove it do I want to put myself through that. On the other hand if we restrict the amount of walking I do on the leg then maybe that would reduce the risk of, or stop a bursa from forming. I wish it was more clear cut than this, it’s that bloody unknown all the time that really gets me down, I want to stay positive but I also don’t want to set myself up for a big fall.

Letter 1

6 Responses to “An uncertain future”

  1. Hi Helen, I am sorry to hear this news. I do hope things become clearer for you, and you are able to make an informed decision. Thinking of you and sending you strong thoughts :)

    • Many thanks for your comment Emily. I knew that my plans would take a little longer than originally thought because of the last lot of surgery, now with the uncertainty it will take even longer. I wont deviate from my plan though and will do what I can to reach my goals eventually. I’m hoping that the fog clears soon and the Physio and Prosthetist can help with that process sooner rather than later, fingers crossed. Thanks again for your support :)

  2. You are one tough cookie indeed ……. hang in there – All the best !

    • Many thanks Paul. Just a rough time at the moment but I’m sure it will pass and I can move on again. Hope you are all well and thanks again :)

  3. Hey

    I understand the frustration and why you would think it may not be worth the bother if the use of the leg is so limited.

    Please trust me, it will be worth the bother. I would give up almost anything to be able to take just one step. Even just standing up to sit back down again would be a blessing.

    I can imagine how much you want answers and clarity, what you are being told at the moment is not the news you want but explore every possible avenue towards mobility, I believe you will be thankful for it some day.

    I hope the process speeds up soon.

    • Thanks Steve, I know what you say is right and I’m sure things will get better and clearer soon. I will see my prosthetist armed with questions and see what options and solutions are available. It will all get better eventually :)

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