Christmas and New Year

Since I last went to the Nuffield for my Pre Op Assessment the knee had been continuing to deteriorate. This meant more pain and restriction of movement and I was really worried about what would happen over Christmas and the New Year. Personally I didn’t think I’d get away with it and would end up getting admitted somewhere, but as long as I was here for Christmas New Year didn’t matter quite so much.

My Aunty Lin and Uncle Tim (Dads brother) arrived lunchtime Christmas Eve with their Cocker Spaniel, Misty. They stayed over Christmas and went home the day after Boxing Day. My Dad and Tim did the honours with the Christmas Dinner, which was superb. Lin had brought a homemade Christmas Pudding and Mince Pies, which were equally scrummy. It was originally planned that I would make a Christmas Cake, that I was looking forward to doing, but we ended up with a bought one instead. Mum said she would never be seen dead in a Onesie but she got into the spirit of things, which was good to see.

We had a lovely time with them here and for me, and I think Mum too, it was nice to have other family around, as it was the first Christmas in years without Nan. I had a quiet time during the day just thinking of her and how it was this time last year, and that now she’s at peace and not suffering anymore. I say that but I bet Nan and Granddad had a right hangover wherever they are, as it was their first Christmas back together again!

Regular readers and friends will know that every year I used to get some money from Nan (as did my Cousins), but more importantly for me was my two boxes of Chocolate Orange Matchmakers. It was a tradition, as was watching The Wizard of Oz on Boxing Day and scoffing a box.  After a small hint Mum has taken up the mantle now but she wrapped them up and put ‘To Helen lots of love and a very Happy New Year, Love Nan xxxxxxxx’. Mum’s handwriting is scarily similar to Nan’s (when she could see to write that was) so it really was just like getting them from her.

I needed help to get on and off the chair, on and off the toilet and into bed by the end of the day. The three days they were here wiped me out as things were getting so bad and I was up and about much more than I have been recently. My appetite did pick up for a while after I got out of Hospital and I was doing OK till the infection took hold again, I have lost it again now. I only have small meals and Christmas Dinner was nothing like the size I normally have, also both boxes of Matchmakers remain intact, you can tell it’s bad!

I started 2013 in Hinchingbrooke Hospital and I must admit I thought I would be ending it in there as well. To be completely honest I actually wish that I had been in Hospital somewhere, as it would have been easier than being at home. I’ve had holes opening up that I’ve been dressing myself, the pain just keeps increasing and the struggle at home goes on. My mood had also picked up slightly when I first got home but again as the infection has taken hold that has ebbed away too.  I didn’t see the New Year in but lay in bed instead thinking ‘I just wish all this was over’.

On the 2nd January I phoned my IV (Intravenous) Nurse to tell her that I had a few holes open with another two possibles and that I was really struggling at home. She told me she would speak to my Consultant and his Secretary to see about getting me in as soon as they could. Fingers crossed this wouldn’t be too long, I cant stand this anymore.

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