Need sleep!

So knowing that my parents wanted to go on Holiday (they usually go to Thailand for three weeks) and I wanted to get back driving I felt a bit under pressure to come off the Morphine, so I did. I had been off it for two nights and last night was my third. This is sounding really good but alas it did not last.

I had not been sleeping due to intense sensations in my stump and been awake most of the night since I stopped the Morphine. I was so tired that last night I went to bed at about 7pm as I felt so rough. it might have been a bit earlier than that as I did my blog in bed and then tried to get to sleep. There I lay, the feeling in the stump was not pain as you would imagine but it is like all the nerve endings are on fire or electric. All of them firing off all the time like a massively intense and sharp pins and needles, it was like Chinese water torture. I kept flipping about in bed like someone possessed trying to find a position where it stopped, but there wasn’t one. I was on my chin strap and as hard as I tried to overcome it I couldn’t stand it any more. I sprung out of bed, snatched the walking frame, hopped as fast as my leg would go to my lounge (the room next door), dived in the wheelchair and raced into the kitchen to my medication. I grabbed the Morphine and took some (a safe dose and what I was on before I went in hospital) but knowing it was a slow release I took some oramorph as well. I swung the wheelchair round and took the route back to bed, a lot slower I might add. Knowing that it was all going to take time to kick in (this was about 8.30pm) I read a magazine for a while, well about 3hrs actually because it wasn’t till 11.30pm that I was finally free of the sensation in the stump and I could get some sleep. I was surprised as I still didn’t sleep that well and woke up numerous times, not from anything to do with the stump, just generally uncomfortable and hot. I don’t really know how much sleep I got, it wasn’t that much but I didn’t feel anywhere near as bad as I felt yesterday, thank goodness.

My parents told me that they have decided not to go away when they usually do (for numerous reasons but mainly because of my situation) but they will try and get away a couple of times later in the year, which made me feel a little better about it. As for driving it will just have to wait as frustrating as it is, I wouldn’t be any safer off the Morphine if I am not getting any sleep. Although it feels like a step backwards it is still only about 7 weeks since I had the surgery, I am just going to have to accept that this could take some time. I am hoping that if I can start doing more walking then using the muscles in new ways will help to reduce the feelings I am getting, of course I am hoping that naturally it will start to subside a little too. I may have been beaten this time stump but I will conquer you eventually mmwwwaaahhhh!

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